It's not what it seems....

That title comes from one of my favorite movies "The Swan Princess". Anyway, so to explain. My last post was to help me relieve my thoughts or really to put my thoughts and feelings into words about Jan. Well, it's not what it seems.

So come to find out that Jan never had cancer, but lied about it all. In fact I am not really sure what wasn't a lie and what was. She has a daughter that she had to put up for adoption named Gabriella who is about my age. She was raised by an LDS family, got married in the temple, and just recently had her first baby. Unfortunately, Gabriella does not exist and neither does her new little family. She isn't just crazy about lying, but there has to be some intent going on because I don't think that she could go this long and not have people notice that you're a little off. Though she is likely a sociopath and pathological liar, she still chooses what to do.

So today I received a phone call from a friend stating that she was arrested to day on at least two counts of fraud. I'm not sure what other charges she may have accrued, but I don't think that this is going to be an easy fix for her like it has been before. Anyway, so now my friend feels a bit more relieved that she knows exactly where she is tonight. This is by far the weirdest situation I've ever been in. It's like soap opera drama. I'll try, optimal word here:try, to keep y'all updated.

Bad news from a good friend

So I just found out that my friend who has been fighting cancer for the fourth time is not going to make it. There's nothing that can be done. There's nothing that will make it all right and yet it is okay. I have avoided calling her for weeks, avoided her texts, avoided my friends calling me to tell me to call her because I knew it would come. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want it to be finite. Though I knew that this was going to happen, though I knew that there would eventually be a time that she wouldn't win the all out battle with cancer, I thought that if it was just a thought it couldn't be true. It wouldn't be realized. It gives me a deeper insight into revelation. The fact that what I feel and think isn't important enough to me to be truth, to be revelation, to be actual is being dependent on someone else to tell me whether or not something is true or real. I need to act for myself. I need to trust in my feelings, my thoughts, my intuitions. I know that this is making no sense to anyone, but I guess that that is part of this being me. It's my thoughts in 'reading' format. I honestly don't know how to express my thoughts and feelings. So I think that this is a good thing for me to write them down. It's a new thing, but a good thing. It's amazing how peaceful and calm one can be knowing that one's friend is going to pass away. And it is all because of the knowledge that we've been given from Heavenly Father that this life is not the end and that this life is only a test, a training ground for the next one. Where we'll have the opportunity to live with friends and family for eternity. To have things like this happen really helps one to bring perspective back into their life. It makes me realize that, like the play says, 'You Can't Take It With You'. The only things that matter right now are the people all around us. We are in the situations that we are because of our choices and in order to shape us into being fit for the glory we are to obtain in the next life. My friend has been put through what I like to call "freaking hot fire" or a refiner's fire and she is now shaped into something that Heavenly Father has need of right now. He will definitely be able to use her. It just is amazing how something tragic can be such a blessing to me spiritually. It just reaffirms to me the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the fact that if we keep true to our covenants that we've made with Him and endure (faithfully) to the end then we can live with our loved ones again.

So it's been a year... ... ...

So a year has passed since I last posted anything on here. This was a blog in the first place to chart my adventures studying in Vienna, though I think it will be good for me to kind of scrap book what is going on in my life right now and so on. I don't find my life that interesting but maybe someone else is interested in what is going on with my life. Who knows? If anything, it's a great to way to express myself. Well, here I start a new beginning.

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This was at a summer home of a church ruler who liked to play games on his guests. So he hid water fountains in different parts of his gardens. It's a water park. We had several students go and sit down on those seats. They were soaked. It was so funny. This was just outside of Salzburg.

Crematorium, Gaschamber and entrance to camp.